Queer Ole Day
by klcm
Summary: The men try their hand at pulling whilst out at a bar... is all it's made up to be?


**Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing!**

**A/N: **_So, just a little ONEshot that was inspired by a conversation I was having with KricketWilliams' the other day, however much she denies her input, she had a MASSIVE hand in this! ;)_

_Just... enjoy! =)_

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Queer Ole Day -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**

"You've got to love these clubs better," Derek mentioned as he and the other men entered the bar ready to unwind.

"Gay bars are predominantly aimed at gays, lesbians and bisexuals, but in recent times the male majority has taken precedence," Reid rambled out as he followed Derek to the bar. "We could've brought the girls with us, it's not like these places have bans against heterosexual individuals."

"Girls night for them means men for them," Derek said as he put his arm around Reid's shoulder and pulled him close, "We don't want to steal their men, as much as they want to steal ours."

"Morgan's got a point," Rossi added on, "No stepping on toes with us lot. Plus with you two around there's no hope for any of us as it is. Let's not add three extremely beautiful women to the mix."

"Hey Handsome," The barman said as he stood in front of Reid and Derek as they approached, "What can I be getting you?" He asked and leant in towards Derek as he separated from Reid's side, "Apart from your number that is."

Derek lit up at that quick success, and told the bar man their order and asked for a pen – he didn't need the men to tell him what they wanted, he knew full well what they drank. It was one of the only straight parts to them after all. "You guys go sit down, I'll bring these over."

Hotch and Rossi walked off first, "None of us are ever gonna get a chance with Morgan around." Reid mumbled as he followed, "Someone needs to show him."

Hotch nodded, "Well we have the experience, he has the looks," He quipped and watched Reid as he scanned the bar, "And well, we have Reid as well."

"Me?" Reid near enough screeched. As if getting female attraction made him uncomfortable, male attention was worse. "Well, I don't know," Reid stumbled as he dropped his eye sight from looking at any of the men around the bar, "I don't know how to."

"Be yourself, Spencer," Hotch advised with a small smirk. "Morgan might get men, _and women_, just by shooting a smile, but not everyone wants that."

"Yeah, some men like the intellect behind the looks," Rossi encouraged alongside Hotch's encouragement. "We all know Morgan's not too bright," Rossi joked deliberately as Derek finally approached with their drinks.

"I won't take insult to that," Derek said jokingly as he place Rossi's Scotch on the rocks in front of him.

The chat picked up as soon as they started their drinks and at first they were just having down time. Time away from the job and the stress it wreaked on them, but soon it turned into paying attention to the vying attention around them.

Gay men really weren't afraid to throw a seductive look and keep shooting it until it got responses.

"I could easily get him with a smile," Derek said as he sat relaxed in his chair and watched the bar streaming with men. He winked at a blonde that looked his way and shot him a grin, "See." He then turned to Reid and smirked. "Right Pretty Boy, you can't leave this bar without at least two numbers."

"Well I don't know," Reid said as he squirmed a little in his seat. He looked from each of the men around the table to the men standing around drinking and dancing. "We all know it's about what different things men want. It's hard to decipher what each man wants the most."

"It's all about the look," Derek said as he flexed in his chair. He pumped his chest a little and sat back, literally leaving himself to the attention of drooling men. "Men like muscles."

"You are the man with muscles," Hotch mentioned, "So what do you like?"

Derek smirked, "The brains," Derek mentioned and nudged Reid startling him at that. "It's okay Kid, you're still not my type."

"It's the age," Rossi cut back into the conversation as he picked up his scotch, "Age and how well you keep your limits."

"Oh right, Dave," Hotch said as he swivelled to turn his body to Rossi's. "It's working for you so far that the two youngsters of our group are getting more attention than we are."

"Fine," Rossi took the challenge upon himself and finished his Scotch, "I'll be back with a new drink." He stood and looked at them all, "One that won't have bought myself for once."

The other men turned the attention off of potential future dates and watched Rossi as he minced his way up to the bar. He was a man on a mission that much was sure.

Looking back once, Rossi geared himself up for this. He was, after all, the most experienced one out of the entire team in most areas; he was going to show them how exactly it was done. "Hey," Rossi said as he leant against the bar, "I saw you looking over at my table," He spoke as he slipped is hand onto the unknown male's hand.

"Sorry," He said as he took his hand back, "I was checking out the cutie with the vest on."

Rossi laughed, "Do you want inexperienced or do you want a real man?" He asked the man, his tone dipped and husky, his eyes staring into his the man's, almost soul searchingly.

The man laughed easily and shook his head, "Whatcha drinking?" He asked as he put his hand on Rossi's that time. He turned fully to the bar then and Rossi looked over his shoulder, smirked and turned back giving his order.

"Well," Hotch said as he stood up there, "That almost didn't work. Good thing Rossi's a persuasive man."

"Which means it had nothing to do with his age and experiences after all," Derek pointed out and picked his drink up and drank, watching the roomful of men as he drank leisurely.

"It's the Southern charm you're all lacking," Will cut in suddenly with a slick smile, "It's all about the accent."

"Eww!" Penelope quickly broke into the daydream, her mind soberly quickly as soon as JJ's husband entered the scene. Even in daydreams she couldn't split a family up, "None of those men could be classed as gay! Especially Morgan, he's just too-" She didn't finished with words, she just sighed dreamily.

"You ever gonna tell him you love him?" Emily asked as she picked her glass of wine up.

"Morgan?" Penelope questioned and laughed, "Never!"

"C'mon!" Emily exclaimed and looked to JJ for support.

Penelope sat up a little and leant in towards Emily, her actions heavy controlled by her alcohol consumption rather than her herself. She pointed a finger at her friend and smirked, "Reid? What's going on there?"

Laughing, Emily sobered in some sense as she shakily stumbled over her words, "H-he's a friend."

"Uh huh," Penelope nodded and settled down.

"Someone wanna remind me why I just imagined the men batting for the same side? My husband included," JJ grumbled at them all of a sudden as she pulled herself up, her body swaying with the abuse of alcohol she had consumed. "I gotta say it is the most messed up thing I think we have ever done."

"Well, Honey," Penelope said leaning over the table, "It was what you wanted after they decided on a men's night out," she looked at Emily with a smirk as they both spoke, "_I really do wonder if our men could pass as gay_."

"Right," JJ said confused for a moment.

Penelope poured JJ another glass of wine, "Have another glass, Sweet Cheeks," Penelope slurred at her blonde friend and smirked.

"Then maybe we can forget we ever even had this conversation," Emily shuddered at Penelope, making her giggle.

JJ willingly downed her glass at that.

**-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Queer Ole Day -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-**


End file.
